Adoption is hard. I imagine I have no idea, yet, just how hard. Somehow, I want to do it again, but this time T isn’t so onboard. I don’t really blame him. Here we are with a usually sweet, but sometimes very tantrum-my 2-year-old and a just-recovered bank balance–we’ve got what we wanted. Why would we need more?
I don’t know that we need more, truthfully, but I really don’t want J to grow up without a sibling. On the other hand, I really don’t want to go through under-2 daycare again, nor do I really want to have two children in daycare at the same time. I may be crazy for thinking this, but I really want to try adopting an older child from the foster care system sometime around the time J hits 5.
I’ll have to do more research, but every time I try, I end up on the photolisting site and fall in love with the pictures of more children, making it really hard to apply the analytic part of my brain to the question of to adopt from foster care or not. Of course, my local social services agency isn’t exactly encouraging when I call to ask for information–they say that most kids aren’t adopted by foster families. I can tell that if they do a home study, they want to make sure they’re doing it for someone who’s ready to help take care of the kids in the county…and once they found out that I’m hoping to adopt transracially again, they won’t be in much of a hurry to get it done.
Eh. Really, though…T, if you’re reading this (and I know you are :) put the idea in the back of your brain. Lots of people DO get this route to work…and really, having an infant isn’t something we need to do again, is it? J’s been lovely, but I’d love him whether he came home at 8-weeks or 2-years.
3 responses so far ↓
1 Jen // May 21, 2008 at 6:36 am
Adoption pangs, I get those too and I don’t even think I want any more kids. If you do itonce you see how amazing it is and then I think a little part of you always wants to do it again. It’s a bittersweet feeling isn’t it?
2 Michelle // May 21, 2008 at 4:42 pm
It is a tricky thing, isn’t it? But as I tell people, you just never, ever really know. What will be, will be (easy for me to say, I know). I hope the answer makes itself apparent in a timely way….
3 Joanna // May 22, 2008 at 7:35 pm
I came across your blog and the first paragraph on this post totally hit home with me. My husband and I had our daughter through in vitro and now I want to have another. We have tried in vitro twice since her birth and have failed. We are on our last chance (husband says) and I am trying to decide whether to adopt or do in vitro one last time. My husband would rather adopt, as he says, he think it would ensure another child in the end, whereas in vitro is 50/50. I just dont know if my heart is into adoption. I have the miracle child I wanted…shouldnt I be happy with that? (as you said). I really want her to have a sibling as well. Husband is fine without another child but is willing to try one more time.
So anyways, sometimes people just want to be heard. And I wanted to let you know that I hear you.
Also, I was struck by your photos. They are beautiful.
Leave a Comment