T and I have been having some…issues, I guess you could call them. A certain person in our lives is showing her true colors, and it’s frustrating.
First, we’re told how interesting it is to compare J and another playmate of his–a girl of color–with white kids. The children of color are just so much more vocal, i.e. LOUD.
A-HEM. I’m loud. J learned loud from me, Little Miss Pale, herself.
Then, I hear this person group Native American parents together with the phrase, “those people,” and, of course, attributing negative characteristics to the entire group in one fell swoop. You know, they’re never on time and don’t change their children’s diapers. Oh, and they’re soooo aggressive.
Sometimes it just makes me want to throttle her. No matter what I say–whether it’s a pointed comment about how you shouldn’t base your opinion of a whole group of people because of your experience with a few or gentle, positive comments about whatever maligned group she’s speaking of, she doesn’t get it. It doesn’t stop.
Guess who she is?
J’s daycare provider.
I sat down with a Native American friend today to talk with her about it and she had nothing comforting to say, aside from that it gets harder as her kids get older and understand what it all means.
It’s frustrating. On one hand, I want J out of there. On the other, I know at the least she keeps him safe and keeps track of the peanut allergy issues. I need to win the lottery so I can stay home. That’s the only good solution.
Qtpies7~ says:
Could you just tell her it bothers you when she makes sweeping statements about people based on their race? Or tell her when she makes comments like that, the children don’t understand why she is saying it and may take it seriously and become prejudiced????
January 28th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
Lisa V says:
I’m sorry, that is so hard.
I don’t think conversations could change long held beliefs or misconceptions. I think you are right that ultimately you have to get him out of there. But I would think for now, while he is small, hopefully the impact might be minimal. I think you have a little breathing room until you can find someone better.
Total assvice, I know.
January 28th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Michelle says:
WHAT? Okay, I about fell out of my chair(or off my bed,whatever)when I read this. Why is it so hard to find good childcare? WHY? There are so many options in my area, and yes, some are bad, but many are very, very good. I have worked and taught at some very good preschools/daycare centers. God, it makes me want to go back to childcare and open my own and show people how it should be done. I’m so annoyed by this. When are people going to realize that stereotyping ANY group of people is not only ignorant, but completely untrue.
January 28th, 2008 at 11:41 pm
Michelle says:
ok, I second what the first Michelle said. Seriously, she says things like that? What is that? I know people at M’s center would be FIRED for saying things like that…I think I know what your summer homework is going to be (besides playing the lottery)-finding a decent place with non-racists for your son.
January 29th, 2008 at 6:15 am