Birth control.
It was a detail I happily brushed aside in early 2002, after several months of truly forgetting a day or two of the pill and a discussion with T about starting a family. It’s been over five years, and I’ve never been back on the pill.
If you don’t know the story, just know this–although it wasn’t a difficult decision, we came to adoption after a few appointments with a fertility specialist. We didn’t go into great depth at these appointments and, really, just found out that getting me pregnant would be difficult. We were never given any odds, but after a month or two of Clomid, IUI was in our plan.
All of that prodding and running an hour each way to the doctor every time I needed some blood drawn or, gasp, insemination (makes me think of my parents’ poor cows every single time I think of it), turned us off to the idea. Adoption was for us.
Fast forward a few years to our lives with a 10-month-old. T isn’t necessarily sure he wants to adopt again, and J is at the age where I completely understand why experienced mothers thought I was nuts for talking about another adoption even as I was holding a then three-month-old J in my arms.
And…if J is to have a sibling, I’d really rather they were both African-American and adopted–they’d be able to share that experience and have an immediate family member to talk to about it who understood better than anyone else could.
So, maybe we should do something about birth control despite the fact that it’s highly unlikely that I’d get pregnant, and I wonder–am I the only adoptive mom with infertility issues who’s let this slide?
2 responses so far ↓
1 starfish // Jul 24, 2007 at 7:35 am
I know that you’re not, but I am not one of those people. I no longer have to worry about that kind of thing - it’s now truly a physical impossibility.
2 Jackie // Aug 17, 2007 at 7:04 pm
Trust me, I’m living proof of the old saying “Ya just never know”. Granted, I don’t know your whole fertility story and I’m sure ours are different, but after 3+ years of no birth control (I only have 1 ovary as it was removed in my 20’s) my husband I decided to adopt - we got Luke Dec 2005 at 5.5 months from Korea. He was and still is the best thing that ever happened to us. When he came along we didn’t even consider birth control. 11 mos after his arrival, at 38 years old, out of the clear blue sky I got pregnant. I’m about 10 days from my due date now. We even had the paperwork in for a 2nd adoption from Korea because like you, I thought it was important for Luke to be able to go through the adoption thing with a sibling he could talk to about it. Our 2nd adoption has been put on hold. This pregnancy is a miracle - I was never told I couldn’t get pregnant but I also wasn’t willing to go through the testing or any surgeries should they be necessary - we didn’t even have my husbands sperm tested. We just knew adoption was for us. Anyway, I’m blabbering on but the point is, never assume you CAN’T unless you really do know for sure! Good luck!
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