Am I too silly to be a parent?

I think one of these books I’m reading should address this issue. I’m silly, and there’s no two ways about it. I realized that my poor kidlet is going to be so embarassed when he or she realizes that rest of the world is not so freakish this morning as I was getting reading, the last day for a few months that I won’t be getting ready in the comfort of my much larger and definitely more convenient bathoom. Unfortunately for her, I think I scared my roommate a bit during the great conversation T and I had last night on the phone, as besides finding out the the doglet crawled up on our bed and lounged on my side of it all day, I also managed to say “Please do not FAAHT on my hand.”

Yeah.

I’m an idiot.

There is a reason, though. One of the keynote speakers at the conference yesterday was a pretty damn famous guy–but quite corny. His power point presentation included these little animated birds and dogs and robots who spoke to him at transition points in his 2-hour long speech, and in addition to moving around the screen, they spoke in that weird robotic voice that comes from text-to-speech converters. Considering how much this guy gets paid to speak, I’m suprised he didn’t have voice talent record the speaking part.

Getting the to point: I’m a freakishly odd duck. I, of course, have a cute little text-to-speech converter widget on my Mac, as I love anything odd and useless. The first night I had it, T decided to have a very purposful gas explosion ON MY HAND right after I got cozy under the covers. Rightfully grossed out, I got up in a huff, went to my office (which, since the house is only 1000 square feet, isn’t far from our bedroom), turned up the speakers, typed up “Please do not fahrt on my hand,” and clicked “OK.”

Sounds dumb writing it now, but you really have to hear this proper, feminine, robotic voice say something so stupid to get the full effect. Plus, we’re boring people. Crap like this will keep us going for weeks.

Now the phrase “please do not fart on my hand” is pretty much used anytime one of us wants to be silly, which is often. It, thankfully, did replace T actually flatulating on me, though, so hopefully dear social worker will look positively on that should it ever come up.